蒙台梭利的优雅及礼貌体现在哪几个方面

蒙台梭利中的优雅与礼仪 Grace and Courtesy in Montessori“优雅”这个词有很多含义，所有的这些含义都是正面的、积极的。但是在谈到儿童成长发展中的“优雅”时，我们指的是：动作的精致化，和礼貌的表达善意。“礼仪”可以定义为有礼貌、体贴，尊重的行为。正如我的培训师，蒙台梭利人Janet McDonell所说的，我们说举止就好比行为的规则，这些举止的规则向他人表明，我们考虑到了他人和他们的需求。有了这些优雅和礼仪，就允许在群体权益和个人权益之间产生巧妙的平衡，使双方都得以成功。所以优雅是心智与身体上的和谐一致。而礼仪是个人与社会群体的和谐一致。The word “grace” has so many meanings, all of them are positive. But in considering child development, we will use refinement of movement and courteous goodwill. “Courtesy” can be defined as polite, considerate behavior, good manners and respect. As my trainer, Montessorian Janet McDonell says, what we describe as “manners” are codes of behavior, which signify to others that we take them and their wants and needs into consideration. This is what allows the delicate balancing act between the rights of the group and the rights of the individual to succeed. So grace is harmony of mind and body. And courtesy is harmony with society.在一个蒙台梭利3－6岁的教室里，孩子在开始进行有意识的优雅和礼仪的选择。我们只是在自然状态孩子们提供信息和演示：怎么绕过他人的工作，而不是踩上去；怎么咳嗽；怎么安全地搬一把椅子，等等。我们同时提供的礼仪方面的演示是：怎么打断别人；怎么向某人寻求帮助；怎么回应他人的侵犯，等等。In the Montessori Casa classroom, the child is beginning the process of making conscious choices to act with grace and courtesy. When we presentexercises of Grace and Courtesy to the 3-6 year olds, we are simply providing information in the neutral – how to walk around someone’s work without stepping on it, how to cough, how to carry a chair safely, etc. We also give lessons in courtesy – how to interrupt, how to ask someone for help, how to respond to aggression, etc.这些优雅与礼仪的演示，我们尽可能的做到实事求是，引导孩子们相互尊重的交流方式。在充满自由的教室环境中，孩子们的意志受到挑战，既要保证自己作为个体的尊严，同时又要尊重这个群体。所以每一次，当一个孩子接受了这个挑战，她的意志都获得了一个小小的胜利，他开始意识到自己在整个人类社区中的责任。当一个孩子选择安静的放下一把椅子，不发出一点声音；或是绕着走过其他人工作的空间的时候，他表现出来的这种控制力就开始扎根于他的自我控制能力中，也体现出了他个人的意志力。We try to make the lessons as matter-of-fact as possible, a how-to guide to respectful interactions. In the freedom of the classroom environment, the child’s will is then challenged to choose to act in a way that honors her as an individual but also respects the community. Each time the child accepts the challenge there is a little victory for the will and the beginning of the realization of human responsibility. When a child chooses to set a chair down without making a sound or walk around a classmate’s workspace,the control he exhibits is rooted in self-control and is an act of the will.虽然我们说，优雅和礼仪对教室这个社区的正常运转是起着至关重要的作用的，但是最重要的目标是，孩子要学习怎样在真实的生活中掌控自己，与他人和谐共处。Although the grace and courtesy lessons are fundamental to the smooth operation of the classroom community, the most important aim is for the child to learn how to handle herself in real life situations and to live and work harmoniously with others.我们来试想一下，在一些很常见的情形下，我们会期望孩子有特定的行为举止。比如在飞机上，多少次你重复对你的孩子说不要踢前面的座椅？又或者，你是否希望你的孩子去奶奶家吃晚饭的时候，虽然不是他喜欢的食物，但是依然会表现出感激？你是否担心带你的孩子去美术馆参观的时候他会到处乱跑、大声尖叫？我们在教室的环境中示范优雅和礼仪，在家里或是外出环境中也同等适用。Think about some common scenarios where a particular behavior is expected. On a plane journey for instance, how many times do you repeat to your child not to kick the seat in front? Or do you wish your child would be more gracious when the dinner at grandma’s house isn’t her favorite?Are you worried that running and screaming might ruin a visit to the art gallery? The way we teach Grace and Courtesy in the classroom work equally wellfor gracious and courteous behavior out and about and at home.“优雅和礼仪”的观点并非一系列的原则和规定。而是孩子在体验着的生活中的一部分和一个结果。The idea of Grace and Courtesy is not a set of principles orr ules but a part and a product of a child’s life as he experiences it.比起告诉一个正在成长发展着的孩子，什么行为是可以接受的，什么是不可接受的，我们与孩子在家里交流的方式更为重要。作为家长，因为孩子们的无意识的吸收性心智，他们在这个家庭环境中吸收到所有的一切，所以我们对孩子在各个方面都有着很深的巨大的影响。无论家长在做什么，孩子们都会崇拜，并且模仿我们做的一切。我们的孩子无时无刻不在观察我们。这种模范作用常常发生在我们甚至都没有意识到的时候，所以我们必须要时时谨慎我们的一言一行。而且，有时孩子还可以辨别我们是否是错的。Even more important than telling the developing child what is acceptable and what is not, however, is the way we interact with our child at home. As parents, we have a broad and incredible deep influence on our children through their unconscious absorption of the home environment. They will admire and imitate us no matter what you do. Our children are constantlyobserving us. Modeling happens even when you don’t’ realize that we aremodeling so that we must be mindful of our every movement and every word.Furthermore, children can tell if we are being false.因此，优雅和礼仪是从家里开始的。第一个人类群体是家庭，家庭也是社会的基础。优雅和礼仪是前期服务意识的开始，也是对他人承担责任的开始。得当的行为举止会让他人知道，我们有关注到他们的需求；得当的言行举止也是社会生活的润滑剂。Thus, Grace and Courtesy begins at home. The first human society is the family, the foundation of society. Grace and Courtesy is the beginning of the idea of service and responsibility to others. Good manners let others know what we take their wants and needs into consideration; manners arethe lubrication of social life.先不考虑你的孩子每天花多少时间在学校，真正影响孩子们行为举止，示范优雅和礼仪的力量在家长们的手中。而这力量越大，责任就越大。我们，作为蒙台梭利老师们，感到荣幸，能与你们一路同行。Regardless of how much time your child spends at school, the real power to influence their behavior and to model grace and courtesy is in the hands of the parents. And with this awesome power comes great responsibility. We, as Montessorians, are honored to be on this journey with you.